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It is way too early to be awake on a Saturday.

Anonymous said: Your body looks great can I ask how much you weigh?

blondebarbells:

I weighed myself last week and you’re looking at 162 pounds of muscle, sass, and bacon.



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blondebarbells:

blondebarbells:

Another progress picture. 143 feels good, I’ve been eating really clean , had one small binge that I did cardio fever storm to try and work off, haha, and am lifting and doing cardio daily. I can see it paying off.
I swear this lighting is crap because I am starting to see some definition in my abs!
Can’t wait to weigh in next week- hopefully ill be at 141 :)

For anon- this is from August of 2012, in the thick of my eating disorder.
Now don’t let the smile fool you- I was miserable. All I did was think about food. Eating it. Not eating it. I binged 2-3 times a week, and then would head straight to the gym and do cardio for sometimes 2+ hours trying to “negate the binge & burn it off”. It was my way of purging.
I’d also restrict greatly the next day- I’d try to add up the calories I ate in my binge, and I’d subtract off what I “worked off” at the gym, and then I’d subtract the remainder out of the next day’s calories. I also ate “really clean” which basically meant only the following foods: veggies, eggs, chicken, fish, a little fruit, some greek yogurt, protein powder.
Eating out with friends terrified me. Cooking scared me. Not knowing how many calories were in my food terrified me. My thoughts were consumed with food/how i thoguht i look literally all day long. It’s all I thought about. It makes me so, so sad.
My hips/stomach basically look the same here as they do now. Over two years later. Eating SO MUCH MORE FOOD. Not using exercise as punishment. Not giving a fuck about what I weigh.
I used to have a toxic relationship with food and my own body. It seriously terrifies me to look through my archive and see the most fucked up thoughts, food logs, and your stereotypical “fitspo”.
All I know is that I look fab these days, I feel strong, I eat big meals with lots of good nutritious food, I eat donuts when I fucking feel like it and it doesn’t make me cry. I’m 20 pounds heavier, and I’m exponentially happier.
This is why recovery is worth it.
Anonymous said: What's your cup size

thefitally:

venti



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kitteningrayspaces:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ohgodhesloose:

*boop* *bap*

"I TOUCH YOUR BUTT"
“WHAT NO”

This made me giggle far too much
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